Some days I just wish I never got out of bed.
Some days I wish I never turned on my brain.
Some days I wish I didn't get so scared.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll be like this forever.
Today was not good. My good friend died and then undied. My best male friend had a lung collapse. I thought he was going to leave me too. My shrink charges by the tear and so instead I just wimper and shake. It feels terrible, but at least I don't get soaked.
It's all about perspective, I suppose. You say I did it on purpose, I say I was confused. It doesn't really matter who's right. It's not my fault you're planning on ignoring for the rest of our lives. In fact, right now, today, I don't even care. Go on, it's fine.
I don't have a problem leaving people behind. I've done it my whole life.
What makes you think you're any different? I can treat you just like all the rest.
In fact, I will.
I had a horrific dream last night.
They say you're supposed to wake up when you die.
But last night I didn't...and I got to hear what people thought. And it broke my dreaming heart.
I thought people cared; but I realized I'm the only one that gets sad.
I thought of him today.
The dream I'd like to forget.
He doused me in gasoline and laughed while his best friend lit the match.
I guess people never change.
I could really use that angel of mercy right about now. But even he isn't paying attention to this anymore.
And I can't say I blame him.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment